Hot Licks by A.M. Arthur

Blurb:

33238136Benji Moore is living his dream traveling as the lead singer of his band. His life would be perfect if he could get his boyfriend, Josh, to commit to an exclusive relationship.

Even though Josh loves Benji, he has good reasons not to trust in long-term relationships. So Josh decides to take some time to himself and sublets a room at a friend’s beach house. But when he walks into the nearby Off Beat bar, he finds a bartender who may be a good distraction from his relationship problems.

Van Holt doesn’t do anything deeper than sweaty one-night stands. But when Josh sets his sights on him, Van is surprised by their connection. Except Van also doesn’t do complicated, and the situation between Josh and Benji defines complicated. But the more time Van spends with them, the more he’s realizing how hard it would be to let Josh and Benji go.

Can the three of them find a way together, or will they all end up going solo?

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My Review:
4.5 stars — I received a free copy through NetGalley in exchange for an honest and unbiased review/opinion.

Well damn, that was even better than I was anticipating.  Again, with this series I dove in to the 2nd book without reading the first, and I had some conflicting feelings about that story and the amount of angst it contained.  So when I was offered a widget for this book, I took it with some trepidation.  Because I don’t mind angst, but I don’t seek it out as some do.  But I was really intrigued finding out that this was Van’s story, and while I didn’t really know much about Benji and Joshua b/c they were probably more heavily featured in the first book that I missed, I still really wanted to find out what their story would be like.

And can I just say before I get to the meat of my review that the blurb really doesn’t give a good feel for the story and what all in contains?  Because it’s really just a taste of the very beginning of the story, but there is so much more to it.  And as another side niggle, they usually called him Joshua, rarely Josh.  And also, can I just say I’m not a fan of the guy on the cover?  I’m assuming that’s supposed to be Benji, but I really didn’t get the impression that he was that cut.  Van’s really the only one that would fit that physical description for me.  OK, enough with the superficial.

So while this book still had the problem of having angst up the hoo-ha, it didn’t have a lot of the side story angst that the previous book was bogged down in.  I still feel like it seemed a bit much for each main character to have their own tragic childhood story, but I could deal with it a bit more for some reason.  Maybe because I expected it?  Or maybe it just was because at least there wasn’t outside tragedies happening as well that we had to encounter.  And even though Van’s tragic story was left til the end, it fit with his character and I wasn’t surprised by this.  I thought each of their childhood traumas were given the proper respect and resolution within their relationship.

I had no idea that this story was going to deal with the gray asexual spectrum, and I actually found that it was dealt with quite well, b/c it is really complicated and all over the place, and Benji’s story gave us a flavour of someone within the spectrum.  I ADORED that part.  And I was satisfied in the way it played out in the story.  I was a bit disappointed that Van’s pansexuality was never explored, but I guess it didn’t really need to be.

I also really loved the way the story addressed poly relationships, and how much time and thought all 3 men took when considering it for themselves.  I was especially intrigued since this story contained an established couple, but I never felt like I missed out on anything.  It all flowed really nicely, and I loved the way it all expanded when Van was added to the mix.  I felt the chemistry between all 3, and the steamy scenes were fantastic.

Honestly, I have no idea why it doesn’t get full 5 stars.  Just a gut feeling.  Probably because of my personal preference away from angst.  But yeah, it was nice to see all the things that bothered me about book 2 not becoming a problem in this book as well.  And it was nice to see glimpses of the characters we knew from the other stories, I always love that.  One tiny note: if you read this book first, you will get a bit of a spoiler for book 2.  But I don’t think it would spoil it enough that you couldn’t go back and read it and enjoy it.

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Leo Tops Aries (Signs of Love #1.5) by Anyta Sunday


33554843Blurb:
 Why did Theo ever bet that a Leo could outwait an Aries?

Blue balls have never been so blue.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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5 stars

This book is FREE!

Yes, this book is about what you think its about! A sensual steamy experience from beginning to end! Theo is too cute for words.  His unfamiliarity with his new lifestyle is oddly endearing and not at all clumsy or awkward.  This is a fabulous follow up to Leo Loves Aries.

I found Jamie to be a bit over smug in this novella.  His described facial expressions came off that way to me.  And I loved their competitive interaction with regards to their bet.

But holy hell this book was explicit!  And tastefully so.  My cheeks reddened and I had to fan myself multiple times to cool down.  I would advise you to read the first one so you can experience their full depth of characters.

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Leo Loves Aries (Signs of Love #1) by Anyta Sunday


33267481Blurb:
 Theo Wallace usually laughs at the horoscopes his mom sends. Still hung up on his ex-girlfriend and practically friendless, this one begs him to reconsider. Because a friendship that stuck, that thrived…

Well, that would be a reason to leave past pains behind and look to the Bright Future.

When his sister Leone challenges him to find her the perfect date for a spring wedding, Theo uses it as a chance to make new friends. Theo’s ex economics tutor and newest roommate Mr Jamie Cooper seems to be a possible and convenient match. Real convenient. Like written in the stars, convenient.

All he has to do is make sure this Jamie is good enough. Could really be the one for her, and the friend for him.

But watch out, Leo, the stars have a surprise in store…

Netgalley

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4 stars

This book had a bit of a slow start but once I got past the first few chapters, man was it good.

Although I must say that Theo was a bit oblivious to Jamie. Most of the time I don’t read the blurb of a book if its an author I know and love so I had no idea what this was about when I started reading it. But I pegged Jamie pretty quick as gay. For Theo not to notice the flirtation and innuendo was a bit naive of him. I did love how he had no idea what his feelings meant though. That part was adorable to witness and experience. And Theo was not afraid to show his feelings to Jamie in public. There was no miscommunication or phobia to get in the way of a great friendship/romance.

The JLM shirt was a nice twist to the story. There were a lot of little moments that I enjoyed having with them. The skating for instance was hawt! And it really showed the reader much Theo cared. Even if he didn’t realize it yet. How could something so simple as cooking a meal for someone become such a pivital part of their story? It just boggles the mind how AS can write it that way.

I must say I loved how Theo and Leones’ sibling relationship was written. Her blindness was a non-issue but it was nice to see the contrasting aspects of their lives together. She was funny, devoted to her family and determined in her chosen career choice. I really liked how close they were and how they fully supported each other even if one of them was wrong. He read to her for book club when the audio book wasn’t available. I was touched by that action on his part for some reason. I’m not sure I would read a whole book aloud to one of my siblings. Man, I may be an asshole…..

Another win for me. I have yet to find one from her that isn’t. And before you get on me for my reading challenge to not start anymore series, I would like to point out that I started this book last year so it doesn’t count. 🙂

I received this book from Netgalley for an honest/unbiased opinion.

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Rock by Anyta Sunday

23159305Blurb: Igneous.

When Cooper’s parents divorce, he finds himself landed in Week About—one week with his mum and one week with his dad.
Only, it’s not just his dad he has to live with. There’s Lila, too: The other woman, the one who stole the rock-solid foundation of his life.

And then …

There’s Jace. Lila’s son. Lila’s smug, regurgitated-fish-scale-blue eyed son.

All Cooper wants is to have his family back the way it once was, but there’s something about this boy that promises things will never be the same again.

Sedimentary.

Resisting the realities of his new life, Cooper and Jace get off to a rocky start. But rocky start or not, after hundreds of shared memories together, they forge something new. A close … friendship.

Because friendship is all they can have. Although it’s not like they are real brothers…

Metamorphic.

But how does that friendship evolve under the pressures of life?
Under pressures of the heart?

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4 Stars ~I’m a huge fan of Anyta Sunday so its no secret I was gonna love this book too.

This story took quite a bit of time to get to where it was going.  And I felt the climax was a but overdone.  But the love story was incredibly intense and deep.

I totally identified with Cooper’s reaction to his parents divorce.  I was thrown back in time feeling all those overwhelming emotions. I really got caught up in it in the beginning. But I never really understood his instant dislike of Jace in the beginning.  Nor did I understand how he didn’t know how Jace felt about him when they were younger.

This story takes place over many years so the background was a good half of the book. Honestly, I could have done without so much of it and I still would have been able identify with the characters.

Cooper used rocks as a way to ground himself when things got out of control for him. I really liked that.  He would be able to choose a rock and remember what memory it held or what he felt at the time he picked it.  A cool tangible way to recall memories.  He had a hard time with confidence and becoming comfortable in his own skin.  I think it helped that his HS friends really just rolled with the punch’s when it came to his sexuality.

Jace was a bit odd to me.  Sometimes they were so in sync that he was able to read Cooper’s mind but then others they were so far apart it was almost like, “What do they even have in common besides sharing a family?”  I think Jace overthought his feelings and couldn’t get past what some people would think.  I didn’t like him when he was in college. I felt he wasted time and allowed fear to get in the way of what could have been a great experience.

Then I think they each had to go it alone for a while because that’s what growing up is all about. Taking the journey.  So then my mind went all abstract on me and I understood why Jace was so withdrawn.

Honestly, I could go on and on about the nuances of this book!  Just, go read it!

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Steady Stroke by A.M. Arthur

Blurb:
30309403After a tragic accident, Lincoln West’s dreams of making it big as a guitarist fell apart. Unable to play music, he’s battling a hopeless downward spiral, and takes his friend’s offer to stay at their beach house for the summer. While at an open mike night at local bar Off Beat, he locks eyes with a busboy who doesn’t make Linc feel so broken anymore.

Emmett Westmore lives for the anonymity of busing tables in his aunt’s quirky bar where no one pities him for the fire that killed everyone he loved. He blames himself for the fire, and he doesn’t want anyone to see him—except for Linc. Emmett’s walls drop when he’s around the gorgeous blue-eyed guitarist, but he has a secret that could destroy his budding relationship with Linc.

Both Linc and Emmett are looking for a way to live again…will they let their fears control them or take a chance on something real?

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My Review:
3.5 stars — I received a free copy through NetGalley in exchange for an honest and unbiased review/opinion.

So I finished this book with a fairly solid 4 star feeling…but the problem is that there were a few things that bothered me, and I made the mistake of going to read other reviews to see if other people were equally bothered, and suddenly I was more bothered.  GAH!  I have to stop doing that!  So now we’re at a 3.5 stars and I don’t know whether to round up or down.  I think I’ll still round up since that was my gut feeling upon finishing the book, and I shouldn’t be so easily swayed.

So the good: I really enjoyed both characters.  I felt like they each had quite a bit of depth, and their own interesting story to tell about coming to terms with being gay and all that good stuff.  I also really enjoyed the romance in this one, I could really feel the chemistry between the characters.  They were playful at times, and seemed to bring out good things in each other, encouraging each to be themselves and reach for goals.  I loved how sweet they could be to each other (Emmett taking care of Linc with the migraines and his more recent trauma, and Linc being there for Em with his past struggles, and his current struggles accepting his homosexuality and exploring it).  I really enjoyed the addition of so many intriguing secondary characters…they felt real, had depth, and added to the story, added to our view of the characters in general (though I do have a counterpoint later).  Also, I will note that I didn’t read the first book in this series, and though some of the plot was given away, it did make me intrigued about picking up Dom and Trey’s story and reading it.

And then there’s the things that bothered me: first, and FOREMOST, the secret.  OK, so this is the first A.M. Arthur book I’ve read, and from some of the reviews I’ve seen, it seems the author is a fan of angst.  I’m only a medium fan of angst, so maybe it was a bit of a mismatch for me.  The problem for me is that there was SO MUCH of it.  I mean, each character individually had enough personal strife to satisfy any craving for angst.  And quite honestly, if that was all we had to deal with, I would have enjoyed this book so much more.  The problems they were dealing with were intriguing, and heartbreaking, and more than enough to make a great plot and provide conflict and resolution.  But the author had to one-up it or something.  And so came Emmett’s secret.  I was not a fan.  I think I might have blinked in disbelief.  It’s not that I haven’t read books with this twist in it, but they usually aren’t accompanied by a bevy of problems that precede it.  The problem lies in that with so many issues being addressed, none of them really got the love and attention and respect that they deserved.  I became desensitized, and I didn’t truly believe in the resolutions then.

(This might get a little plot spoilery in this paragraph, be warned) And it wasn’t just that this additional secret existed, it was that it was introduced to Emmett early on in the book, and then he kept it a secret from Linc until towards the end.  And I’m not entirely sure I believed in the purpose for him keeping it a secret, and so I felt myself disliking Emmett for making that choice.  And then it was just there, causing him guilt, and making me want to know how Lincoln would react.  And then when that finally came to a head, it was so close to the end, I didn’t really get the believable resolution I wanted.  I know…I’m being vague.  But I really have to be in this case.

So back to the other issues.  Wasn’t really impressed with the resolution to the issue Linc deals with wrt Tom.  Too serious of an issue to be handled so flippantly in some ways.  I try to tell myself that everyone deals with things differently, and this very well might be how someone would deal with it, but it became a tiny subplot compared to everything else going on, and so it really didn’t need to be there if it wasn’t going to be treated with respect and sensitivity.

Wasn’t really impressed with the additional diversity added for Emmett/Emilio.  Could have been so good, and I LOVE diverse books, but making him Muslim felt like a plot device to address the fear, but we got nothing from his religion (and having grown up so devoutly, I would expect to learn more about it regardless of how he feels now).  It was a topic that was added, but not given enough time or, again, respect.

I’m hoping that Van and Melody get their own book, and that the author actually deals with their sexual challenges with more insight and respect.  They were an intriguing addition, but again not really given time or weight (but at least in this aspect I’m assuming it’s because they will be getting their own book, otherwise I don’t see the point in adding yet another topic to this overloaded story).

And that’s the basic jist of it for me.  The story was overloaded.  I feel like the author could have done a much better job if she’d pared down the trauma each character (and the secondary characters) experienced and given more weight and thoughtfulness to any of the gagillion topics she chose to address.  By adding so many, she kind of watered it down and missed some great opportunities.

So how the hell can I justify a round up to 4 stars now?  Hmmm…good question.  See?  That’s the thing.  These things that bothered me really did bother me.  But the good stuff of the romance and the character interactions cannot be undervalued.  They made for a very enjoyable read for me.  So I guess the written part of my review is where I rant about those bad things, but the star part of my review is where I convey how much the good parts weighed in the grand scheme of things for me.  Well, if nothing else, this book made me think a lot about what I like and all that…  (And I thought my last review was long…*rolls eyes*)

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On the Brink by Kate Willoughby

Blurb:
29909088Due to popular demand, Kate Willoughby brings you Hart Griffin and Jeremy Fenton’s origin story. Find out how these two met and fell in love…

Holtzer University junior Hart Griffin won’t let anything interfere with his future as a professional hockey player. No way, no how. He’s the star forward of his college team and a first round NHL draft pick.

One hot night with a male super fan calls into question everything Hart thought he knew about his sexuality and launches him on a soul-searching journey in which nothing is as it seems and his entire world is turned upside down.

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My Review:
3 stars — I received a free copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest and unbiased review/opinion.

Not a bad M/M romance novella…probably would have enjoyed it more if I’d actually read the 2nd book in this series so I could see them interact in the future.  In the end it suffered from the trap many novellas fall under — too short to really get enough story out of them.  And in this case, probably b/c they’re cameo’d in the 2nd book, we didn’t really get a satisfying ending.  It was ok, but for readers who are coming in with this being the first book for them, it would have been nice to have a peek (epilogue?).  I guess the thought is that I could then buy and read the other books in the series, but in the end I wasn’t sucked in enough for that.

Pretty good chemistry as far as the steam factor went.  The relationship chemistry was glossed over a bit more (like a montage of friendship scenes).  Would have liked to see more of what attracted them to each other besides the physical.  Especially because the words love were thrown around kind of early then.

Wasn’t really taken with either book boy.  Jeremy was not bad, and I felt for him when he was initially targeted, but then it just sort of went on from there and I didn’t know him enough to love him.  And Hart unfortunately behaved pretty badly after the experimentation encounter, which was sort of believable I guess, but it didn’t really endear him to me and I never fell in love.

So all in all it was entertaining, but ultimately not satisfying enough.  *shrugs*

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On Higher Ground by Melissa Collins

on higher groundBlurb: When there’s no peace after war…
When there’s no solace after death…
When there’s only pain and suffering…
Anxiety and loss…
All you can hope to find is something more…
Something that makes you whole and complete
Something that puts you
On Higher Ground

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3 stars

Can I just throw out there how much I love this cover!

I loved the first book in this series. Let me first start off with, this book had no plot.  At all.  It was just a year in the life of them, and their transition from a new couple to moving on in their relationship. Going from the honeymoon phase into really starting to begin their lives.  Getting married, buying a house, establishing their careers.  You know, normal things that occur in real life.

And I enjoyed it. Even though there was no point to the story at all. I still loved it. Although I do want to point out that while Melissa Collins is a great author, this book had way too many sex scenes in it.

Wait, what? Is there such a thing you ask?  Yes.  There is.  Coming from me that’s probably weird but hear me out.  There comes a point in time in a book where the sex becomes a plot device or a trope. And it kinda felt that way about half way through the book.  Every time she did one of those wonderful sex scenes it just started feeling a bit monotonuous after a while.  It was like, “I know, I get it, they’re gonna have sex again.”

For me it was more about the non-sexual or non-physical in their relationship.  At this point they were dealing with Dax’s PTSD, the adoption process and how they were percieved being a married gay couple.  Dax’s accomplishments with training dogs and helping other vets like himself.  They just had so much more going on emotionally that I was looking forward to reading.

And she touched on a lot of those issues.  They were just broken up by these multiple sex scenes that seemed to take away from the power of those experiences for me.  That’s really the only negative that I have.  I don’t even care that there was no plot. I have no problem with that at all.

Other than that the story was really good. It had a lot of hope.  You could see a lot of what they went through as a married couple, I totally understood.  It paralled real life really well. So go read it!

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#Rev by Cambria Hebert

This is book 2 in the Gearshark series.  See my review for book one, #Junkie.

Synopsis:
28802913Trent Mask puts the REV in revolution.

A line has been drawn.

Indie vs Pro

Here at GearShark, we’re straddling that line to bring you exclusive coverage of what some have dubbed the war of racing.
Every war starts with a spark and ends in revolution.
Drew Forrester was the spark,
but his second-in-command is the REVolution.

What does it take to stand brave in the face of opposition?

resolve of steel…

Stubborn will…

And a heart that refuses to give up.

It isn’t just the drivers in this war.
The revolution is about more than just racing.
It’s about shattering labels and taking risks.

So we asked Trent Mask: Truth or Dare?

His answer?

Both.

Check out the full feature article inside…

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My Review:
5 stars — I honestly don’t know how I resisted reading this right away when it was released.  #Junkie (book one) was one of my first 5 star reads of 2016, and I was salivating waiting for book 2 to be released.  But I had other reading priorities to take care of, so when those were finally accomplished, I pounced on this book so hard, and it was so damn satisfying of a conclusion!!!  There’s always that worry that the book might not live up to its predecessor, but that was wholeheartedly not the case for this series.  Trent and Drew were just everything I had expected of them and grown to love in both #Junkie and the Hashtag series that inspired this spinoff.

Heck, I’m even actually excited for more from this series, even though it won’t be about Trent and Drew!!!  Ms. Hebert knows how to suck you into a world and give you a taste of characters to come.  I mean, she actually made Lorhaven intriguing and not just a dick.  Yup, I was surprised too.

You know what I appreciated about this book?  That it wasn’t some fairytale where everyone reacted in the right way to their relationship.  B/C that’s just not realistic yet.  And it was heartbreaking to watch Trent and Drew deal with those hardships, but it made their love story so much more impactful.  And yes, they had a lot of good experiences too, but I’m totally ok with that.  It had a great balance.

Basically I finished this book with a huge smile on my face.  Normally I have a lot more to say, but this was just my kind of book in so many ways, and it was like reading book candy for me.  Makes me want to go back and reread the Hashtag series too and then reread this again.  It’s like a delicious guilty pleasure.  Can’t wait for Utopia to snag me some signed copies of these books.

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The Cranberry Hush by Ben Monopoli

the cranberry hushBlurb: Vince Dandro might be going through the quietest quarter-life crisis of all time. He lives alone, works in a comic book shop, and has a crush on his coworker he can’t seem to act on. Like an old comic book, his life’s colors have started to fade. Everything brightens when Vince’s long-lost friend Griff appears on his doorstep in the middle of a blizzard. They were roommates in college, so close back then that Griff’s girlfriend called them “lifebuddies” — but Vince’s love for Griff had ended the friendship, he thought, forever. They haven’t spoken in years. Why has Griff shown up again? And, more importantly, can Vince handle his return?

Vince and Griff are two twentysomethings struggling to find their places in the world and in each other’s lives. This is a story of friendship and love, both unrequited and requited, and of learning how to fly through the post-college void, which just might hold more than a cranberry hush.

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Favorite quotes

The tiny pessimistic devil who usually sat on my shoulder and who’d warned me not to even bother with Griffin in the first place suddenly conjured himself in my stomach and began crawling up my throat, making it tight.  I wasn’t sure whether to cry that fucker out or throw him up.  I thought I might do both, and collapse in a puddle of tears and puke.

“But doesn’t it feel weird to have the potential to fall in love with every person you meet?  All your friends?”  “I don’t think so,” I said. “I think it’s weirder to only be able to fall in love with half the people you meet.”

I lived in tones and inflections, in glances and winks and stupid little taps.  I analyzed and sought meaning from stupid meaningless things.  It was a constant tug-of-war between what I wanted and what was reality

3.75 Stars 

This book is weird. This book is about nostalgia and basking in what could have been. It’s also about not being able to move forward until you deal with what’s behind you. It’s also about love.  It’s kind abstract honestly.  All these words are floating through my head, you know, and none if them are really tangible. Its not like one event or a turn of events you can pinpoint and say, “Oh, thats what this book is about.”  Its not like that at all.  The whole book itself is about the intangibles, and being able to move past them. It’s just very weird for me because I am not used to reading these kinds of books.

This book is about everything and nothing at the same time for me.  The love that was written into the story was just very oddly worded for me. I didn’t become emotionally involved with it.  I was kind of detached while reading because the way this was written came off as clinical to me.  I had a hard time getting into the book because of that style. But for some reason I could not put it down.  The transitions between flashbacks and present day were choppy to me.  I found myself going back and having to re-read them to make sure I was in the right time frame.

It seemed that every character had dual representations for Vince.  Griff repesented his past, comfronting it and moving forward.  Zane represented his present and not being able to move forward with it until he dealt with his past. At least that’s how it came across to me.  I’m glad I read it, I just don’t know if I would recommend it. This is one of those books that you have to be very clear on what the persons reading interest are.

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Him by Sarina Bowen and Elle Kennedy

259154232Blurb: They don’t play for the same team. Or do they?

Jamie Canning has never been able to figure out how he lost his closest friend. Four years ago, his tattooed, wise-cracking, rule-breaking roommate cut him off without an explanation. So what if things got a little weird on the last night of hockey camp the summer they were eighteen? It was just a little drunken foolishness. Nobody died.

Ryan Wesley’s biggest regret is coaxing his very straight friend into a bet that pushed the boundaries of their relationship. Now, with their college teams set to face off at the national championship, he’ll finally get a chance to apologize. But all it takes is one look at his longtime crush, and the ache is stronger than ever.

Jamie has waited a long time for answers, but walks away with only more questions—can one night of sex ruin a friendship? If not, how about six more weeks of it? When Wesley turns up to coach alongside Jamie for one more hot summer at camp, Jamie has a few things to discover about his old friend…and a big one to learn about himself.

Warning: contains sexual situations, skinnydipping, shenanigans in an SUV and proof that coming out to your family on social media is a dicey proposition.

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5 Star

It was written beautifully.  I really liked how Jamie realized he was bisexual. The sex scenes in this book were extremely graphic. I didn’t find it distasteful though. Honestly, it was fucking hot! I liked how Wes’ first thought was always about putting Jamie first.  How he didn’t want to pressure or guilt him into doing something that Jamie didn’t want to do. He was trying to protect him from the negative aspects of how he is treated differently because of his sexual orientation.  Wes is equal parts thoughtful and considerate while also being free-spirited and bold.

I liked how Jamie didn’t lead him on. He was straight-forward about it from the beginning. He discouraged any other potential love interests right off the bat. I hate when there is a miscommunication regarding love interests, it just pisses me off.

I liked the contrast in their backgrounds. Wes’ parents were goal driven and independent and unsupportive of his lifestyle.  Jamie’s parents were total hippies from Cali and accepted everyone for who they were and didn’t make it out to be  very  big deal.  As a native Californian, I completely understand that mind-set.

This book just had all good parts.  Go read it.

Favorite quotes:

He’s still talking to his friends as he watches me approach.  Of course he’s surrounded by people.  I’d forgotten how magnetic he is.  As if he burns with higher test fuel than the rest of us.

Maybe he’s not as carefree as he looks, my conscience suggests.  Fuck off, conscience! I’m busy being mad here.

It only took one look at him today to realize I can’t keep the parts of myself in separate drawers.  It was never going to work.

I don’t feel any different, though.  I fooled round with a guy yesterday – shouldn’t I feel different? Feel gay, you mean? A laugh bubbles in my throat.  Does one feel gay? And damn it, I’m bewildered to discover I’m rocking a boner,and it’s more than a case of morning wood.  It’s Wes-wood, a result of thinking about messing around.  I…think I might want to do it again.  And how screwed up is that?  I’d been fully prepared to view last night as a chemistry experiment.  A test. I didn’t expect to ace the damn thing.

beginner

 

 

Curly Carla_small